Beauty for Ashes...

So today is my birthday. No big deal really, but it does cause one to reflect for a moment on ones life thus far. And as I reflected, (curled up on my couch in front of the fireplace with a nice hot cup of french vanilla coffee), I saw once again how blessed I am.....

I grew up on welfare and with no place to call home. With no father and a mom who worked two jobs to try and support us. We lived lived a life where I witnessed things that no child should see..... I don't want to get into the whole story-but it was a sad and hard childhood-we'll leave it at that....

Now flash forward to present day-I live in a home. A beautiful home(oh, thank you Lord...), with kids that I adore and will never feel the same pains and struggles that I felt growing up(oh praise your Holy Name....), and a husband who loves me deeply with a marriage that only God could have granted and has blessed with His own two hands(I fall at your feet, my God....) how?

I felt so unworthy.... there truly is nothing in me that deserves any of this." Weren't you there Lord, when I did that one thing...and then that other? I know you saw how bad I messed up when I did "that"? So by all accounts, You had every right to leave me no better then I came into this world!" But He didn't....oh Lord.....my God....my Father......how could I ever thank you for giving such Beauty for such burnt Ashes?

Later I read a post from my good friend Mrs.L. She talks about loving her new boys that they have recently adopted. How the boys had never heard words of love, so she reminds them several times a day by asking them a question. "How comes I love you so big?"(in polish, and I won't even try to type that!) to which they respond "because you do!". It is a touching story.

As I got up from my computer to go refill my coffee, I thought about her post. I thought about how blessed I feel, how I don't deserve any of it, how God has adopted me into his family, how he loves me and I can't for the life of me figure out why!

Then, it was as if I could hear my heavenly Father say...."Calandra, how comes I love you so big?"....and I just smiled and softly whispered back to Him......"because you do...."